I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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