fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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