one might say we're banned from that church
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
