brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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