Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
