When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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