he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
