it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's like iHOP with fire
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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