I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
