..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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