make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
