Porn is love you can see.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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