Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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