im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
