How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
