God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
