i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
did i walk over a car last night?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
