So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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