just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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