Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
