At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
