Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
