This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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