I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
