Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
