I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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