Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
