just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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