This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
