ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
