A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
