He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
