never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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