people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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