Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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