Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize