I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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