Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
