Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
