My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize