it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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