There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
