Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
