You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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