Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need water and some morals
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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