dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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