i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize