He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
