My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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