Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
