I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
