so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i love accidental penises.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
