used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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