His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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