I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
