I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
