Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize