K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
