The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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