I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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