It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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