I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
