Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
