dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
