First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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