this beer tastes like vomit already
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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