No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Mom said you looked used
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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