I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
