I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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