Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
