the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
