She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
