we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize